Thankful for him

I am taking a cue from my husband who started a blog today. You can follow him at Kevin's Blog.

On that note, I have decided I need to get back into blogging.

Per my last post I married my best friend on November 10, 2012. Here are just a few pictures our amazing photographer took.

Telling Kevin I loved him (before the ceremony)

Me- One of my favorite pictures

My handsome husband

True Love

Light Painting- One of our FAVORITES

On December 10th, exactly 1 month after our wedding I found out I was pregnant. The look on Kevin's face when I told him was well in a word, SHOCK. Let me start with saying that my husband had a reversal surgery from a vasectomy in July and the doctor told us it would take 6 months to a year to work. If you can do math....it was 4.

On December 12th I started bleeding. I called my doctor and upon examination was told that I was probably miscarrying. Devastation was a prominent feeling between Kevin and myself. I went for HCG testing several times over the course of the next week. Well my HCG dropped but then spiked. I had a sonogram that showed nothing, but the doctors said that it wasn't uncommon.

December 27th I started experiencing pain in my pelvic region. Kevin and I went to the hospital and the docs said there was no signs of ectopic and I looked like I was measuring 4 weeks instead of 7. Needless to say our hopes were renewed that we would have a healthy baby.

January 3rd we went to my OB/GYN for a follow up. The doctor did a sonogram and found the yolk sac, but no fetal pole. The pregnancy was next to my right ovary. NOT in the place it was supposed to be.

To say that I experienced the complete and utter devastation feeling again would be accurate. I couldn't breathe and all I could do was cry, while my husband held my hand and asked questions.

It was advised that I receive Methotrexate. It was said that it would be the best route to take since we want children. I got the shot on January 3rd.

On January 12th, while watching the Ravens vs. Broncos at a friends house.....I started feeling discomfort. I seriously thought it was just a gas bubble and it would pass. By the time we got home I was doubled over and laying on the bed with tears streaming down my face. Kevin took one look at me, told me to put my shoes on, that we were going to the hospital.

January 13th at approximately 4 a.m. I had emergency surgery for an ectopic rupture. They had to remove my right tube. I don't really recall a whole lot from Jan 12-14th. The next 5 weeks have been horrible.

I got an infection on my left side at one of the incision sites. Cellulitis on my left side. I can't sit for long periods of time, lay on my stomach or roll over without pain. I've had 3 rounds of antibiotics. I have been out of work since the surgery. Thank god I have FMLA coverage and disability insurance.

I thank GOD everyday for my husband. He has been the most amazing, supportive, caring person. He has been so strong in the face of the unknown. He has held my hand and told me it will be okay. He has never complained. I am forever grateful for him and his love. No newlywed couple should experience the pain or loss we have, however I will say that this has brought us closer.

We'll try again.....but for now I am just going to appreciate the man that I fell in love with.

November 10, 2012

On November 10th, 2012....I married my best friend and became Mrs. Kevin Smallwood....aka Autumn Smallwood.

 

 

We said our vows in front of our family and friends. Our wedding was everything I envisioned it would be. I'm still waiting on our "professional" pictures....but for now...some photos our wonderful friends too. 

Rehearsal Night. L to R.

Brent (Kevin's Groomsman)

Eric (Kevin's Best Man)

Kevin

Me

Danielle (Matron of Honor)

Tamera (Maid of Honor)

 

Walking out as MAN AND WIFE!

 

My New Family

 

My hubby and I

 

Our first Dance

 

Dance with my Daddy

 

Artsy Pictures



My birthday

Today I turn 32.

I'm okay with this...because in the last year and a half, I met the love of my life:

 got a dog:

and planned a wedding.


I've lost 50 lbs. Yeah that's a huge accomplishment for me. I started running.


In a few words. Life is good. I'm happy. Next.....babies...I hope. :)



Guardian Angel

I believe Kevin and I have a Guardian Angel.

On Monday, Kevin called the Arch Diocese in Baltimore because we still had not heard the the word on if the annullment was going to go through. The secretary for the Deacon that was dealing with our case took a bunch of information and told him she would call him back. It wasn't 5 minutes later and she called back with the dreaded words. "Non-response from the defendant (Kevin's ex), it will now go before a hearing and will take another 2-3 weeks."

Kevin tells me this and I about break down in hysterics. I need to order my invitations. I just want to know where we are getting married. The stress of everything is seriously getting to me.

Kevin asks the secretary if there is anyone to rush it, and explains how long its taken and what we have been through. She said she would put a note in the file, but there is no guarantee.

Here is where things get interesting.

Kevin texts me Wednesday afternoon and tells me that we have a letter from the Diocese and asked me if I wanted him to open it. I'm thiking its probably just a letter telling us what the secretary told Kevin on Monday.

The words I got back from Kevin:

"Guess what?" "We are free to marry each other in the Catholic Church."

My response:

"OMG! Take a picture! Happy Tears! Now I can order invitations"

Kevin called the secretary today to thank her for whatever she did to help speed along the hearing, her response:

"I didn't do anything out of the ordinary - but sometimes things happen around here quicker than normal, and only the Lord knows why."

Honestly, I don't care what that woman says....she was my angel when I needed one. So to the woman in the diocese that heard our story and helped us when we needed it....this couple will forever be indebted to your kindness. Thank you for helping me get the wedding of my dreams in the church of my dreams.

P.S- I ordered the invitations last night. :-)

Have a Little Faith?

The title of this post....while fitting....is very hard for me to do right now.

Kevin and I are just over 5 months from walking down the aisle and we just don't know if it will be a Catholic cermony or not.

Let me give you a background.

Kevin was previously married. I was not. Kevin's ex wife was Catholic and they were not married in a Catholic ceremony....therfore it should be an easy annullment. Empasis on the word EASY! It's not.

First we have to prove she was baptized Catholic. We can't locate her baptism certificate and the fact that she refuses to help us further than telling us the location of where she "thinks" it was....isn't helping.

Second. My priest. Gigantic "tool." Yeah. I said it. He took his sweet ol' time starting to locate the baptism certificate and now that we can't seem to locate it, he now decides to tell me....maybe we shouldn't have scheduled your wedding till we had all the documents in order. I never thought I would want to punch a priest....but I so do.

I love Kevin and have to rely on that a lot right now. My faith is being severly questioned right now, because while I still believe in the almighty and all the covenants, I am extremelly disheartened by the steps I am having to undertake to marry a man that the Church may not deem "fit" for me to marry because he was previously married. I can't help that I fell in love with him. It should NOT matter that he was married before. It should ONLY matter that we love each other and wish to raise our future children in love and faith. Kevin has jumped through hoops to try and give me this Catholic wedding and frankly most men would have balked over everything, he just asked what more could he do to help.

Have a little faith???

God willing I will see the light at the end of the tunnel and faith, in whatever form, will see me through.

The Church of my Dreams

When I was a little girl I always envisioned walking down a long aisle on my daddy's arm to the man I loved at the end. It took a while....but I finally found that place.

Kevin and I have been through 3 churches before finally finding the one that brought tears to my eyes and the words "I wanna say "I do" here" out of my mouth.

My home church....while I love it and was confirmed in it.....looks like an Easter egg thru up in it. It teal, pink, yellow and white. Its just NOT pretty. Its also exceptionally tiny and close to the highway.

Our second church was more modern and they were able to accomodate an evening wedding, which was important to us. It was laid out in a T design, with no real center aisle. I was resigned to get married here, because they were able to accommodate us, but when they stopped returning my phone calls and informed me they were also hosting a Christmas Festival the same weekend....I knew it wasn't going to be the best fit.

I went to visit a friend in Kentucky for her wedding in April and while at her rehearsal, I texted Kevin and told him I refused to get married in the second church. He spent the entire weekend looking for alternatives. I called one church when I got home on Monday and the following weekend I dragged Kevin to mass on Saturday and the minute I walked in....I just knew I had found the church I would become a Mrs. in.

The church is gorgeous.....

Thank you Kevin for putting up with my ever changing desires as a bride....I know I am driving you insane.....less than 6 months and we'll be on our Honeymoon. :-)

I love you.

~Autumn



The Venue

I've always known that I wanted a fall wedding, so when Kevin and I got engaged we decided on the date immediately. He knew it was important to me to be married in the fall and we agreed that November 10th was the perfect date. My best friend was married November 17th and its kinda cool that our anniversaries are going to be only a week apart. (We actually had the date picked out before we got engaged....its engraved on my engagement ring).

Trying to find a venue to have our reception was not as hard as I thought it would be.

The first place we visited was Turf Valley in Ellicott City. I had read a lot of revues, both positive and negative. I would say my initial reaction was negative. I wasn't in love with the setting, but was willing to settle, because it was in our budget range and was able to accommodate us. What pushed me to not going with them was when I was emailed an initial outline of costs, it was NOTHING what we had discussed with the event coordinator (that we met with for 15 minutes) and that was extremely off putting. I'm sorry but if I am going to be paying you an exorbitant amount of money, than I am not just another person to you....I am a name and a face and you should treat me as such rather just someone writing a check. This place was promptly crossed from our list.

The second place we visited was The Historic Savage Mill Manor. Kevin actually found this place. When you drive up to the house, it looks like an old Victorian mansion. It was built in 1844. When you walked inside it had a huge staircase that was frankly gorgeous. We sat down with Bobby from Putting on the Ritz catering for almost two hours and discussed all aspects of what we were looking for. He went over our budget and incorporated everything. By the end of our meeting, I looked at Kevin and said.....

"I want to get married here." So on November 10, 2012, after saying I do at a Catholic church in the area (that post is to follow...believe me it was an adventure finding a church).....our reception will be at:

The Historic Savage Mill Manor House. I can't wait to party with my new hubby, friends and family!!!