Been thinking

So it has come to my realization that I am "depressed." A great friend stated today "for the last few weeks, you have appeared to be in a funk." That great friend is right.

It is once again "holiday season." I cringe at the thought of all things merriment. The "holiday's" have NEVER been my favorite time of year....alright maybe when I was 5. It is a stressful time period and I always feel like I don't do enough. My parents are divorced and someone is always left out at this time period.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, simply because well I love the food. Last year was a very depressing time period, as my grandmother was losing her fight for life and I spent over 10 days in a hospital in Texas just spending time with her. This year I am going to WV to spend time with my father's side of the family, but in the back of my mind I realize this time last year was when I said goodbye to my maternal grandmother. She was the rock for my mom and I am worried about my mom and this time of year. It will be hard for her and I am not there to help.

Also, I am lonely. I care for one person more than he knows....actually he probably does know, but I can't let myself let him in. I've hurt him more than once and he has always been there no matter what. I don't want to be with someone just because I am lonely....so for his sake and my sake I am not going down this road again....and I honestly think that's why I bailed a month ago.

I think its time this gal went back to therapy. As much as I love talking to my friends and family somethings are just easier to talk to someone else about.

Life to Date

In August, I went and visited some family in WV....been a long time since I have seen my father's side of the family. I surprised my grandmother with the visit. It was nice to spend sometime in WV with the family and well I am going back for Turkey Day. The best part of the my trip...the drive back. The mountains are beautiful.

Also in August- was the 1 month anniversary of no alcohol. After my stint in the hospital, I took some time off.



In September, I went to Florida for my birthday to spend sometime with my mom and get a tan and generally just RELAX. It was a great trip. My mom made wonderful food and as I was never much of a cook....I learned a few tips and tricks and I actually enjoy cooking. I often call mom for ideas. She gave me A LOT of great presents....one of my favorites is an off-white sweater dress which I am looking forward to wearing this winter. In addition I had my first drink since the hospital incident.



Upon coming home from Florida, I had to make a decision regarding my car. After several attempts to bring my ZX2 back to life....I said screw it. Well I bought a new car on September 10. Totaled it September 12th. Not a great week. I bought a Chevy Cobalt....bright blue. She was beautiful and totally me. On a rainy evening I was leaving a "friends" house and well lost control of my vehicle on a windy road, did at least a 540 degree spin and slammed the driver's rear into a telephone poll. Dislocated my shoulder, bruised my face (I still have a slight bruise in NOVEMBER!). Needless to say insurance did not pay for the entire amount of my vehicle and I am now paying the difference of $1400 for a car I don't even own. The plus side....I still have the ZX2 and he is behaving, for now.


So I decided to join a kickball team. While I am not a fan of the color pink....my PINK team rocked. We may have lost every game, but we had an awesome time doing it. The picture is from after the last game when we went out to The Whiskey for an end of the year happy hour. It was a blast and I loved everyone on my team. I made some great friends and had a blast doing it. Even though I am clumsy to a fault....I managed to not get injured! I'll definitely do it again next year!



Well Flo is still alive....barely. She definitely does not look like the picture to the left and I couldn't bare to take a new photo of her. I am going to pass her off to Traci when she moves into her new home...perhaps she can bring her back to life. I would like to get a new plant this spring.....we'll see what happens. I tend to murder them.