I lost one of my best friends, because, well frankly, I couldn't be what he needed me to be. I couldn't be the woman that he deserved. The one that wanted to spend all the time with him. The one that wanted to be a teenager again and make out 24/7. I love him, but am not in love with him and that hurts. He was the man that I always thought I would bring home to meet the family. He would have taken great care of me, but I wasn't taking care of him. I just couldn't do that to him, not again. He deserves a woman that would love, provide, care, jump through hoops for him. It just wasn't me. I'm so sorry and he knows this and in time, I hope he knows I did it, because I do care for him.
Work and I are not getting along recently. I hate going to work and would use every excuse I could think of to not go to work if I thought I could get away with it. It's just killing me everyday. I hope things start to look up soon, because I really do like what I do, just not the politics that go with it.
I also took up running.
I DO NOT LIKE TO RUN!
I figured with all the ups and downs with my personal and professional life, hitting the pavement sounded like a good idea. I am ridiculously out of shape and need to lose weight, as nothing I own seems to want to fit and its freaking sad. I refuse to spend anymore money on clothes that don't fit.
I will drop this weight and be happy again, but maybe some therapy on the side would be a good idea. I have to work through this personal shit before I go and hurt someone else I care about.
Here is to a new week and a new chapter, thank god it's almost May and I can go on vacation.
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