Ugh

If I didn't have bad luck, I really don't think I would have any luck at all.

On top of the wonderful thyroid results of last week...I managed to dislocate my ankle on Friday night. Do you have ANY idea how freaking painful that is?!?!?!?!

Granted I am a supreme klutz, but this injury takes the cake. Being the good friend I am...I went to pick up a drunk friend on Friday night. Got him home, was walking back out to my car, fell down his stairs landed in the driveway. Seriously! I go to help someone and I get injured in the process. Are you kidding me?!?! One drive to the hospital later (mind you with my left foot, cause I hurt the right), I find out no broken bones, just a dislocated ankle. Yeah didn't even know that was possible. I'm pretty sure the doctor learned a new stream of curses when they reset my ankle...at least that's what he told me...I don't recall much of it...good pain meds.

Started physical therapy today to regain the use of walking...because crutches and I just do not get along. It is a love/hate relationship...more towards hate. I can put weight on the toes of my feet but try and get my foot flat...shooting pain. I got it massaged and deep heat from an ultrasound, however my FAVORITE part...they hooked little electrodes up to my ankle. Weird sensation, but fantastic affect. Swelling has gone down a little and doesn't hurt as bad. Granted I did just pop a pain pill. lol.

I will be doing therapy 3 times a week for the next month...here's hoping by this weekend I can at least limp without the dreaded crutches.

Test Results

I got the call on Wednesday. Took a few days to really process.

According to the doctor I have follicular neoplasm which doesn't confirm or deny cancer. Its an inconclusive result. Its not that they didn't get enough of the cells from the biospy, its that they are unable to determine one way or the other because of the abundance of cells....there are too many to see if its cancer or not. The only way to determine is to either have a partial lobectomy or remove the entire thyroid. The doc said that even if it is cancer I have a very high survival rate (over 95%) because of my age and other factors.

I asked her what the likely hood is if I only remove part of it would it appear on the other side, she said she wasn't sure but with my Hasimoto's she would recommend entire removal but that's something I should consult with the surgeon on. She is sending all my tests and notes as well as the slides from the biopsy to the surgeon.

I'm a calmer than I was when I first heard the news and I credit that to the internet and the search results from follicular neoplasm. I'm still scared about the surgery, but I have the best family and friends to support me and was referred to a great doctor at John's Hopkins.

Stressed Out

So here it goes. I have been having some ups and downs with my health as of late. I've been doing the healthy eating kick for a while and incorporating moderate activity into my life, but can't seem to lose any weight and am constantly feeling under the weather.

Well about 2 + weeks ago I went in for a thyroid ultrasound, because my GI doc was concerned and wanted to make sure nothing was going on. 2 weeks go bye and I don't hear from her, I think all is cool and we'll discuss at our next appointment. 10:30 Friday morning my little world kinda went into a tail spin. Doc called with some "concern's" and wants to do a biopsy.

Naturally, I FREAK OUT.

My doc says I have two "nodules" on my thyroid, 1 that is internal and one that is on the left side and over 1cm big. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis a few years back and those little "nodules" are not my friends. With the type of thyroid problem I have I am 10x more likely to develop thyroid cancer. Yeah freaked out to say the least.

I've done some internet research and my doc has tried to calm my fears, but the truth remains, I won't know till late May what the results are. I have an appointment May 14th for the biopsy, in which they don't put my to sleep, just stick a lovely needle into my neck 4-5 times. I'm hoping my best friend will be there with me, because frankly I'm not sure I can handle it alone. Within a week, I should have my results and if it's positive....let's just say this girl is a fighter, but I am scared.

I'm not yet 30 and I still have a lot of living left in me. As my grandmother always said, "Never give up, never surrender." I know she is watching over me and will get me through this.

Life is complicated

In the span of a week. I lost the only guy best friend I have, nearly quit my job, and took up running.

I lost one of my best friends, because, well frankly, I couldn't be what he needed me to be. I couldn't be the woman that he deserved. The one that wanted to spend all the time with him. The one that wanted to be a teenager again and make out 24/7. I love him, but am not in love with him and that hurts. He was the man that I always thought I would bring home to meet the family. He would have taken great care of me, but I wasn't taking care of him. I just couldn't do that to him, not again. He deserves a woman that would love, provide, care, jump through hoops for him. It just wasn't me. I'm so sorry and he knows this and in time, I hope he knows I did it, because I do care for him.

Work and I are not getting along recently. I hate going to work and would use every excuse I could think of to not go to work if I thought I could get away with it. It's just killing me everyday. I hope things start to look up soon, because I really do like what I do, just not the politics that go with it.

I also took up running.

I DO NOT LIKE TO RUN!

I figured with all the ups and downs with my personal and professional life, hitting the pavement sounded like a good idea. I am ridiculously out of shape and need to lose weight, as nothing I own seems to want to fit and its freaking sad. I refuse to spend anymore money on clothes that don't fit.

I will drop this weight and be happy again, but maybe some therapy on the side would be a good idea. I have to work through this personal shit before I go and hurt someone else I care about.

Here is to a new week and a new chapter, thank god it's almost May and I can go on vacation.

Two Weeks

Well almost. I haven't posted in almost two weeks. My sincere apologies.

Life has been hectic. Been working my butt off for the job that pays the bills. Not sleeping the sleep. Not loving the love. However, shelling out the $$$$$$.

I have spent probably $500 in the last week on my wardrobe. I have a problem. I love classic cardigans, ruffle designs, slim pants. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

2 cardigans, 1 button down, 1 khaki pant, 1 gauze shirt later (TODAY!!!!) later I have work attire.

I have been trying to dress it up bit by bit at work. It's fun. I just might take pics tomorrow. For now I must sleep. I will have to post about Ms. Chelsea Handler tomorrow. FUNNY Biotch!!!!!

Ups and Downs

I haven't posted a pic of my new hair color because well...... I HATE IT. I actually have an appointment tomorrow evening to get it fixed. It seriously looks orange to me, but everyone I work with says it just looks lighter. Well lighter would work if that is what I ASKED for. I asked for my hair to be darker with some highlights. My hair is a natural light brown...so I would imagine dark brown with medium brown highlights....yeah no. I got a medium brown with dirty blond. DESPISE!!!!

Hopefully tomorrow is better and I can post a pic of the finished product.

In other news my Denver trip got canceled. I was in a word.....PISSED! My boss got sick with strep throat and he was supposed to go with me and well that definitely didn't happen. The original plan was I was going to go alone and then at 10:30 at night I got texted to say NOPE. Whatever here is hoping they reschedule soon. I would really really like to go out. I'm hoping it happens sooner rather than later.

Off to watch Chelsea Handler....this chick is HYSTERICAL!

New Glasses

I got new glasses!!!! Well actually I ordered them since my happy ass is virtually blind they didn't have my prescription in the store. They should be in next week. I am super excited about them.

I went to go see Alice and Wonderland and since it has been a RAINY dreary day in B'more it was sold out. Bastards. Gonna try again another day.

Instead I helped the economy today. LOL. I bought 2 necklaces, a button down shirt and cardigan at The Limited. I got a fleece hoodie at L.L. Bean. I also bought 20 Maryland Mugs to take with me to Denver for my clients. Oh yeah and a new pair of DARK wash jeans at Levi...I'm gonna have to take them to the tailor though and they'll just be my going out jeans. :o)

Now I am just chillin on the couch and drinking a glass of vino. Tomorrow is the day the hairdo changes. :o) Below are my new glasses.....and the hair before the change. :o)