Stressed Out

So here it goes. I have been having some ups and downs with my health as of late. I've been doing the healthy eating kick for a while and incorporating moderate activity into my life, but can't seem to lose any weight and am constantly feeling under the weather.

Well about 2 + weeks ago I went in for a thyroid ultrasound, because my GI doc was concerned and wanted to make sure nothing was going on. 2 weeks go bye and I don't hear from her, I think all is cool and we'll discuss at our next appointment. 10:30 Friday morning my little world kinda went into a tail spin. Doc called with some "concern's" and wants to do a biopsy.

Naturally, I FREAK OUT.

My doc says I have two "nodules" on my thyroid, 1 that is internal and one that is on the left side and over 1cm big. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis a few years back and those little "nodules" are not my friends. With the type of thyroid problem I have I am 10x more likely to develop thyroid cancer. Yeah freaked out to say the least.

I've done some internet research and my doc has tried to calm my fears, but the truth remains, I won't know till late May what the results are. I have an appointment May 14th for the biopsy, in which they don't put my to sleep, just stick a lovely needle into my neck 4-5 times. I'm hoping my best friend will be there with me, because frankly I'm not sure I can handle it alone. Within a week, I should have my results and if it's positive....let's just say this girl is a fighter, but I am scared.

I'm not yet 30 and I still have a lot of living left in me. As my grandmother always said, "Never give up, never surrender." I know she is watching over me and will get me through this.

Life is complicated

In the span of a week. I lost the only guy best friend I have, nearly quit my job, and took up running.

I lost one of my best friends, because, well frankly, I couldn't be what he needed me to be. I couldn't be the woman that he deserved. The one that wanted to spend all the time with him. The one that wanted to be a teenager again and make out 24/7. I love him, but am not in love with him and that hurts. He was the man that I always thought I would bring home to meet the family. He would have taken great care of me, but I wasn't taking care of him. I just couldn't do that to him, not again. He deserves a woman that would love, provide, care, jump through hoops for him. It just wasn't me. I'm so sorry and he knows this and in time, I hope he knows I did it, because I do care for him.

Work and I are not getting along recently. I hate going to work and would use every excuse I could think of to not go to work if I thought I could get away with it. It's just killing me everyday. I hope things start to look up soon, because I really do like what I do, just not the politics that go with it.

I also took up running.

I DO NOT LIKE TO RUN!

I figured with all the ups and downs with my personal and professional life, hitting the pavement sounded like a good idea. I am ridiculously out of shape and need to lose weight, as nothing I own seems to want to fit and its freaking sad. I refuse to spend anymore money on clothes that don't fit.

I will drop this weight and be happy again, but maybe some therapy on the side would be a good idea. I have to work through this personal shit before I go and hurt someone else I care about.

Here is to a new week and a new chapter, thank god it's almost May and I can go on vacation.

Two Weeks

Well almost. I haven't posted in almost two weeks. My sincere apologies.

Life has been hectic. Been working my butt off for the job that pays the bills. Not sleeping the sleep. Not loving the love. However, shelling out the $$$$$$.

I have spent probably $500 in the last week on my wardrobe. I have a problem. I love classic cardigans, ruffle designs, slim pants. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

2 cardigans, 1 button down, 1 khaki pant, 1 gauze shirt later (TODAY!!!!) later I have work attire.

I have been trying to dress it up bit by bit at work. It's fun. I just might take pics tomorrow. For now I must sleep. I will have to post about Ms. Chelsea Handler tomorrow. FUNNY Biotch!!!!!

Ups and Downs

I haven't posted a pic of my new hair color because well...... I HATE IT. I actually have an appointment tomorrow evening to get it fixed. It seriously looks orange to me, but everyone I work with says it just looks lighter. Well lighter would work if that is what I ASKED for. I asked for my hair to be darker with some highlights. My hair is a natural light brown...so I would imagine dark brown with medium brown highlights....yeah no. I got a medium brown with dirty blond. DESPISE!!!!

Hopefully tomorrow is better and I can post a pic of the finished product.

In other news my Denver trip got canceled. I was in a word.....PISSED! My boss got sick with strep throat and he was supposed to go with me and well that definitely didn't happen. The original plan was I was going to go alone and then at 10:30 at night I got texted to say NOPE. Whatever here is hoping they reschedule soon. I would really really like to go out. I'm hoping it happens sooner rather than later.

Off to watch Chelsea Handler....this chick is HYSTERICAL!

New Glasses

I got new glasses!!!! Well actually I ordered them since my happy ass is virtually blind they didn't have my prescription in the store. They should be in next week. I am super excited about them.

I went to go see Alice and Wonderland and since it has been a RAINY dreary day in B'more it was sold out. Bastards. Gonna try again another day.

Instead I helped the economy today. LOL. I bought 2 necklaces, a button down shirt and cardigan at The Limited. I got a fleece hoodie at L.L. Bean. I also bought 20 Maryland Mugs to take with me to Denver for my clients. Oh yeah and a new pair of DARK wash jeans at Levi...I'm gonna have to take them to the tailor though and they'll just be my going out jeans. :o)

Now I am just chillin on the couch and drinking a glass of vino. Tomorrow is the day the hairdo changes. :o) Below are my new glasses.....and the hair before the change. :o)

TGIF and a "box o' wine"

All I can say is THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY!!!! oh and Thank God for the Box O' Wine.

Tonight is a kick my feet up and RELAX. Getting new glasses and seeing Mr. Johnny Depp tomorrow and getting this hot mess of hair fixed on Sunday.

Off to the Mile High City on Monday. Wahoo!!!!

Exhausted

You know it's been the week from hell when on a Monday you:

Pass out with your laptop in your lap and a 1/2 eaten sandwich beside you and wake up at 3am going WTF?!?!?!

You know it's been the week from hell when on a Tuesday you say:

"It's a 2 glass of wine kinda night." and then proceed to drink the entire bottle of Riesling.

You know it's been the week from hell when on a Wednesday you:

Are so freaking exhausted, making dinner seems overrated and you proceed to drink 2 glasses of red wine and nuke leftover lasagna.

ITS ONLY WEDNESDAY!!!!! I have two more days to get through. God help me.

Thank god my boss is back from his work trip....though I swear he is NEVER allowed to go out of town without me again. Two more work days in the office and then off to Denver for work....with the boss man....told you he wasn't allowed to travel without me anymore.